Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Family Relationships

A woman in her late 50s mentioned she was dreading the upcoming Father’s day family occasion and when curiosity led me to question why, this was her response:

She has always had difficulty with her family as being the only girl (two brothers); her siblings viewed her as the favourite and seem to resent her, with the younger one apparently complaining to his partners who consequently have always been unpleasant towards her.  However, her mother is the one who makes her feel ‘never good enough’, makes nasty comments and compares herself to her all the time in a very negative way.  Her father is cold and has never shown love or empathy.

She viewed her family as dysfunctional, fake and plain hard work!  After any family get together she would agonize over everything that was said; not said; implied or inferred.  So much so, that the night after the family get together, she wouldn’t be able to sleep and would continue to worry and then go over and over analyzing things for up to three or four days afterwards.  This led to anxiety with other social functions in general for her. It drove her husband crazy.  He tried very hard to be supportive, but really found it difficult to fully understand the situation and what she needed from him. 

She desperately wanted to “cut off from the things her mother said to her”; to have more confidence in herself in social situations; and basically was worried she would end up like her mum as her grandmother was the same (as her mum).

I was confident that a Neuro-Training Kinesiology session would be helpful to her and suggested that we do this before Father’s Day if possible.  This way she could experience the results and she would have nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain – her sanity for one thing J

So I treated her on the Saturday morning prior to Father’s Day and then didn’t see her for several weeks afterwards.  When she came back to our clinic I asked her how Father’s Day went.  She was completely enthused.  She actually enjoyed herself and did not spend the night awake and agonizing over every detail and also didn’t feel a need to analyse all the relationship issues between the siblings and her, or her parents and her, etc.  She was absolutely thrilled and furthermore told me that she had since voluntarily phoned her mum for a catch up phone call, without procrastinating over doing that as she had done in the past – this too she surprisingly found she enjoyed.  I highlighted that her parents and her siblings have not changed!  What has changed is her perception of what is occurring and her ability to deal with everything far more effectively, without the stress previously experienced.

Her husband is more than thrilled as she no longer worries about every little detail after an event and is impressed that they are no longer causing her stress.

I’ve since questioned her if this response is still ‘holding’ as this initial session was back in September 2015 and... yes it is!  She is still thrilled that she manages family gatherings so well and continues to phone her mum in between, without any procrastination or undue concern in doing so.

If YOU have family issues that are proving difficult to deal with – well NTK won’t change your family, but diffusing the mental/emotional issues CAN help you deal with things far more effectively and you can enjoy your family again, ESPECIALLY if you are in a situation where you have to work alongside a parent or sibling that is proving difficult.  
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