Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Grief and Loss

A woman in her late 20s had originally come to me as she had an acute fear of flying and had experienced severe bad dreams and nightmares for as long as she could remember (since a small child).  It is worth mentioning that after one treatment for her fear of flying, not only could she now travel without fear or anxiety, but unexpectedly her nightly dreams also disappeared.

Many months later though, her partner of 9 years who suffered severe depression and anxiety took his own life before she had been able to convince him to seek help.  She had spent those 9 years being supportive, understanding and compassionate, so it came as an awful shock.  She started to experience a sense of guilt (could she have done more, or been at home that evening), and an enormous amount of ‘what if’ scenarios kept presenting themselves to her. Depression (his) is a terrible mental illness and suicide can sometimes be a culmination of that illness.  A lot of us have been close to that edge, or dealt with family members in a crisis, and some have lost friends and loved ones. We all need to look out for each other and certainly not to turn away from mental illness.  We all need support and recognition – just to know that someone cares can be enough.

Unfortunately, this really swept this lovely young woman, who was finally starting to experience life more fully (without her anxiety, panic attacks and bad dreams), into a spin.  Several months following the suicide, she felt she was ready to start the healing process to enable her to move on.  She will always remember him, as they had had many happy times together and she had lots of lovely memories. She will never lose this, but what she really needed now was to move past the pain and overwhelming grief and to think about her life and start to embrace a future.

A week after treatment she messaged me to tell me the following: “Again I’ve been a different person since seeing you, everything’s clear again... I actually feel like a human not a broken zombie! I (am able to) accepted it for what it is... and (now) I need to move forwards!”

She keeps in touch and is now seeing and doing things with people she cares about, realizing that she has been stuck at home for too long, she is cherishing every moment.  This is a wonderful outcome for someone who was so completely shattered.

So Grief and Loss do not have to eat you up from the inside and there is no shame or guilt in getting your life back on track.  You will always remember the one you have lost, but the GOOD things about them and the experiences you’ve had with them, the diamond days will always remain!

So if you have lost a loved one and would like to move past the difficult emotions that are creating devastation or chaos in your life and holding you back from living, contact us at Brilliant Living Solutions.  Remember you will NOT lose those precious memories and feelings, you hold them close in your heart and they will always remain!

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